Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
