If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
