He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
The chlamydia really affected his face.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
