dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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