he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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