Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
