why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
is that a dick in a sweater?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
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