puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
