Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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