3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize