I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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