I just made out with a guy for $7.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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