is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
i think i just lost a toe
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
