For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Randomize
