im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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