i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
