bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
