When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
