He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
