Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
