During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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