Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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