singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
