I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Just pee around me
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
