i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
