Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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