If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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