just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
