I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
