My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize