i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize
