I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
