i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
