I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize
