Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Randomize
