: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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