i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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