then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
