why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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