If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
