belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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