So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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