Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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