you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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