I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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