Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
