Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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