this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
