that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Randomize
