I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
