And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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