When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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