Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
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