I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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