??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
