There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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